


Communication

by inatshej



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alive Allison, Alive Vernon Boyd & Erica Reyes, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bars and Pubs, Biting, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cultural References, Drunk Stiles, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Fuckbuddies, Getting Together, Licking, M/M, Miscommunication, Neck Kissing, POV Stiles, Psychology, Self Confidence Issues, Tags Are Fun, self-deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:05:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8521339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inatshej/pseuds/inatshej
Summary: Stiles had a one-night stand with Derek. They meet again, though, and they become sort of fuckbuddies? Probably. Except Derek is really nice to Stiles, well, sometimes. So maybe they are more like friends with benefits?





	

**Author's Note:**

> My first explicit work. Still looking for beta, so sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Inspirations:  
> 1\. I had this image in my mind: friends meeting in a pub, two guys end up talking, and that's what happens.  
> 2\. Nonviolent communication theory by Rosenberg. It changed my life, seriously.  
> 3\. My studies. Essay for 5000 words in 24 hours really happened to me.   
> 4\. When I was in junior high school, I was really pessimistic alongside with my friend. I kept reading Nietzsche and Schopenhauer, punk ideology, everything so sad. And then I suddenly read Erich Fromm and see that life could be good, the world turning to be a better place. My friend was shocked, but forgave me, because Fromm xD

1\. Observations

Stiles likes being by himself. He has this arrangement with Scott to meet with him and some other guys at least once a week to spend some actual time together, because even though Stiles is sharing a flat with Scott and Allison, a lot of his time occupies university and library, or reading books in his room.

Now, he slides down next to Scott. In the past, it was just the two of them. But then, suddenly Scott started succeeding at lacrosse and Allison got interested in him. Unexpectedly, they became popular in their high school. Stiles was in a quandary about it, but Scott began dating Allison and felt great. He turned into this outgoing, interested in the others, socialising guy. Now, at university, Scott spend even more time with others. He would talk with someone and meet new people almost every day, he would go party at least twice a week. A social butterfly.

Scott moves to make some space for Stiles, smiling to Allison.

She is a sweetheart. As open to others as Scott, always with him on the parties, she is the kind of person you like from the start. She makes space for you in her mind and pays attention to whatever you share with her. It doesn't have to be much, but she will remember it.

Allison turns to Lydia, asking her about her dress. You don't stay indifferent when you meet Lydia, she won't let you. Don't start a discussion around her, unless you really want to spend the rest of the night talking with her. She will keep an opposite stance to your own, make you question everything you know, and then everything you believe in, just to finish it with: well, I don't really think all the stuff that I said, but it was fun, wasn't it? It's good that Allison's usually close by to pick the remains of you.

Lydia answers Allison, while Jackson, her boyfriend, drinks his beer.

Jackson grows on you. When you meet him, he is horrible. Such an asshole. Douchebag. However you call that. But then, you are at the sore bottom, meet Jackson and feel like dying, except that's when he will do something for you. Say something. And suddenly, you see a different person inside him, almost caring, appearing outside for a second, just to disappear again. He is still an asshole most of the time, though, so don't get your hopes up.

Further on, there are three new people. Scott introduces the first as Erica, Lydia's friend and _that's_ saying something, her boyfriend Boyd and their friend Derek. Stiles says hi to them, but returns to talk with Scott.

He spends most of the evening with him and Allison. Scott needs to go out earlier because of some meeting early next day and Allison leaves with him. It's kind of amazing, how Scott fills in his time with meetings. Stiles would drop dead after three days like that.

Now, he decides to change his seat to the one next to Derek, since Lydia, Jackson, Erica and Boyd seem to be completely engrossed in some conversation.

'Hey, it's Derek, right? How exactly did you end up here?'.

'Erica thinks I need more friends', the guy grimaced.

'Scott tells me same thing', Stiles laughed.

'And that's why you're here?'.

'No, actually I have decided to go party at least once a week, otherwise I'd spend all my time studying'.

Derek turned to him, surprised. He was really handsome. 'Why?'.

'I've just started to specialise in psychology, but I haven't finished the previous courses. I was studying biology and law'.

Derek frowned. 'That's a strange combination'.

'Not really, I want to go to police academy'.

'I see'.

'What about you?'.

'I'm doing my PhD for biology now'.

'Woah, that's amazing!'.

Derek shrugged. 'How are you coping with your studies?'.

'Uh, I'm managing for now. But sometimes I go out from the lecture having to check five theories and five names I have never heard about, but which were mentioned just in passing, as obvious. It's depressing'.

'It's normal, you came with different knowledge'.

Their conversation flows naturally further. Stiles is having a great time with Derek and doesn't realise how late it's gotten. And this guy's eyes' colour is just amazing. Stiles turns away before he can stare or say something awkward. He is shocked to see he's spend two hours talking, when Lydia and Jakcson decide to go.

Stiles stays with Derek, Erica and Boyd, but the couple seems happy spending time on their own. He remembers considering leaving with Scott and Allison tonight, but is happy to have stayed. He doesn't even feel tired now despite the late hour. The things he has in common with Derek makes their talkfest exciting.

They order another drink and keep talking. Finally, even Erica and Boyd decide to go, but Derek stays with Stiles. Was this guy always that attractive? The pub they are in have few people inside, most of the clients have gone back home already. How many hours did he spend talking with Derek? Nevermind.

They do decide to leave eventually. It's still dark outside, but dawn isn't too far off. The cold air sobers them a little.

Stiles laughs. 'Do you see that pub over there? About a week ago some guys from my specialisation were supposed to meet there. I went inside, but the place was huge and I couldn't recognize anyone, so I went home. I felt like such an idiot. But it's okay, I kept reading Fromm later to cheer up', he laughs again.

Derek looks up at him. 'You have read Erich Fromm to cheer up?', he asks, startled.

'Yeah, it's weird, I know', says Stiles and considers himself for a second. 'Weird, alone, and gay. The story of my life', he shakes his head, laughing self-deprecatingly.

'You're gay?', asks Derek, surprised.

'Uh, yeah', Stiles nods awkwardly. 'I was in love with Lydia for a long time, but realised in high school Lydia's great, but... it wasn't me, not really'.

Derek doesn't answer and Stiles just realises that what he said was a pretty big fail in autopresentation.

'So, uh, who's your supervisor?', he asks, struggling for a topic.

'It's Dr. Norwid'.

'Oh, I remember having a class with him. He is interested in ethology, isn't he?', starts Stiles. They finally go back to conversation, walking through dark streets.

'My apartment's just there', points Derek.

'Okay, great. I have to go further this way', answers Stiles.

'You should come with me'.

Stiles frowns. 'I'm not that drunk'.

'I know'.

Everything in Stiles stops for a second. Did he just mean that-

'I want you to come over', clarifies Derek.

Stiles focuses on the man's face, searching for any signs that a proposition is a joke, but doesn't find anything and averts his eyes. He doesn't do one-night stands. It's not him. He only had one boyfriend in high school, but it had ended when they started studying, then it was just drunken make outs and messy blowjobs sometimes. Those aren't his best memories. If anything, he wanted to have something more serious now.

Derek waits for an answer, but Stiles looks somewhere else, hesitant.

That's when Derek steps closer and kisses him. Before Stiles even thinks about what he is doing, he returns the kiss. Which actually agrees with those experiments of Benjamin Libet's-

When Stiles doesn't pull away, Derek presses them closer, turning their kiss deeper and Stiles' mind goes blank.

It leaves him breathless. He has this ridiculous thought, remembering he's cleaned himself thoroughtly before going out.

They have sex that night. Stiles bottoms, feeling Derek over him, and it's more intense that anything he's ever had. When Derek kisses his neck, he bites his lip, struggles to keep silent. He's unable to form any coherent thought anymore. He feels his nipples teased and moves his hips, trying to get the best angle. He is sweating, panting, leaving precum on a bedsheet. When Derek takes his hands in his and put them over his head, he arches his back, gnawing on his lip. His dick, so hard it's almost painful, is rubbing the matress and he can't keep from seeking more friction. Derek bites his neck again, and Stiles moans, giving him more access. He feels Derek's hand closing around his shaft and gasps. Derek licks him somewhere beneath his ear and draws back, just to pound hard back into Stiles, and again, and again.

Stiles comes, Derek just after him. None of them moves for a while.

And, what now? What is the procedure in that situation? Should he say something? What exactly?

Derek places a small kiss on Stiles' arm and falls asleep behind him. Stiles keeps staring straight ahead, all tensed up, trying to make sense out of this – whatever it is, before finally dozing off.

When he wakes up, it's horrible. Fortunately, Derek's still sleeping. He regrets everything. He sees a used condom lying on the floor and that's about the only sensible decision from last night.

He sits up and notices dried up come on his tight. It's sickening. The whole thing-

He stands up and goes to take a short shower, hoping Derek won't wake up in the meantime.

He finds his clothes from yesterday lying on the floor and feels weird having to put them on. He can't shake off the feeling of wrongness, making his way back home.

He doesn't tell Scott about the night. He has no idea how to express what happened.

The week goes by and he stops thinking about it. It just happened, shit happens, life goes on and he has to check Erik Erikson's identity crisis.

On Saturday, he meets with Scott and the others, looking forward to getting drunk and detaching himself from studies.

He doesn't expect to see Derek. Somehow, over the week he's convinced himself it was just a one-night stand and they will never meet again.

They do, but Derek glances at him just to turn back to his beer.

Stiles sits down next to Scott, but can't focus on anything, seeing Derek so close. He sighs, stands up and plops down next to him.

'I guess I should say sorry for leaving like that', he says carefully, checking the waters.

Derek looks up at him.

'I kind of thought it was a one time thing, and had a lot of stuff to do. I was supposed to hand my essay on ethical space when I didn't even know something like that exists'.

'Something like ethical space exists?'.

It's enough to get them talking again. Low standards, possibly.

 

2\. Feelings

The meeting ended up with Derek leaving with Stiles late again, going in the same direction, Derek kissing him, slipping his hand under Stiles' shirt, Stiles pressing to him-

They part, their breaths visible in the cold night air. Derek takes Stiles to his apartement.

They have sex again.

Stiles takes off early again.

He leaves a short note this time. He freaks out over what to write, before settling on _Thanks for everything,_ signing _Stiles_ underneath. Derek did buy him a beer yesterday and promised to get Stiles the newest Naomi Klein's book his parents have.

Next week is really busy. Stiles gets an assignement: essay, 5000 words, 24 hours to write.

It's sick.

He starts writing at 8 pm, because of his courses earlier, trying not to lose his mind. He barely sleeps but manages to send it on time: before 9 am.

He sees Derek on Saturday. Derek waves and Stiles sits next to him. They talk the whole night, end up in Derek's bedroom.

When Stiles wakes up, Derek turns to him wih a smile and kisses him. Stiles responds, and they both grow half hard.

Stiles withdraws, climbing on top of still lying Derek to trace small kisses and licks downwards his body. He doesn't know what it is exactly that they have, but it works for now, so does it really matter?

He caresses Derek's balls before taking the cock in his mouth. He can hear Derek's breath catch and it's enough for him to know that he can continue. As strange as it seems, Derek wants him. It may not last long, but it's happening now, so Stiles will take it.

He licks the length, focuses on the head, teasing it with his tongue. He takes the shaft deeper, reaching out to touch Derek's nipples. He concentrates on the head again, feeling thighs under him tense. He licks the tip, sucks, fondles the balls-

'Stiles-'.

He continues, hard by now, seeing Derek open beneath him like that, and swallows the come.

Derek takes him closer and kisses, not minding the liquid. He sits up with Stiles struddling him and strokes his chest and back, kisses and bites his neck, slowly reaching down to close his hand around Stiles' cock. He covers his mouth with his hand, trying to stop all the ridiculous sounds building up in him.

'Stiles', starts Derek, taking the hand away, 'I want to hear you'. He kneads his ass roughly. 'Come on', he says, reaching to his hole. Stiles can't help it – he moans.

It doesn't take long for him to come under Derek's gaze and touches, feeling hot all over from all the attention. They kiss again.

'You want to stay for breakfast?'.

'You mean, I will get food if I stay?', Stiles grins.

Derek traces with his tongue the hickey on Stiles' neck. 'Yes'.

'Then I have no choice really, do I?'.

Derek smiles a bit. 'How did this essay of yours go? The one you needed to hand in 24 hours?'.

'I got A. Can you believe it? Because I can't'.

Derek turns to him to flick a small smile. 'Congratulations'.

Stiles stays for two more hours. After the breakfast they shower together and Derek gives him the promised book.

'Oh, thanks, Derek, really. I tried to read it once, but the one month limit was too little time for me. I will try to finish it quickly though, well', he paused, weighing the 500 pages, 'as quickly as I can'.

'Don't worry, my family doesn't need it for now'.

'Are you sure?'.

'Yeah'.

Stiles looks at him. 'You make me feel better than Erich Fromm', he states finally, half-joking, half-serious.

Derek laughs a little before looking at Stiles with a smile. 'I like you', he says softly.

Stiles glances away and blushes, keeping up a smile. 'Yeah, I like you too'.

Derek kisses him again – how many times did they kiss just from yesterday? – before saying goodbye.

 

3\. Needs

They meet again next week. Derek leans into Stiles and kisses him in front of everyone. Stiles freezes, surprised. Derek finishes it with grace anyway and smiles at Stiles' blush. The rest of the night goes as usual, they have a routine by now, observes Stiles to himself. Meet, talk, fuck. Eat breakfast, go.

Next week is the same, though Derek doesn't kiss him in public anymore. Afterwards, they go for a walk in the forest and that's new. Derek says it's to calm Stiles down before his presentation. He even listens to Stiles talking about the topic and asks questions, trying to prepare him better.

It's been more than one month since he met Derek, when they wake up to have a slow, so conscious of each other sex. Derek's beneath him, slowly opening, and Stiles can't believe he is this responsive when bottoming, when it was always Stiles earlier. Captivated, he watches his fingers move deeper and deeper inside Derek, hears his uneven breath, feels his muscle tensing. He shifts his fingers still in, staring at the changes in Derek's face. He is just as slow and careful, reaching all the way in, having replaced his fingers with his penis.

They have breakfast together. Derek prepares it, breaking the eggs.

'Submitting to Thanatos' urge, having Eros satiated, huh?', jokes Stiles.

Derek laughs and just like that, Stiles knows he is in love.

He barely keeps calm in front of Derek.

'How did your presentation went?'.

'Oh, good, thanks. For your help'.

Derek smiles at him before turning back to food.

He really is in love with him. That's just so-

well, pathetic.

He goes out earlier, calls Scott, meets him and Allison in their appartement.

'I'm in love with Derek', he states, still in the doorstep.

Scott looks at him, unsure. 'Okay, and?...'.

'And I can't!'.

'Why?'.

'We are, I don't know, fuckbuddies. I can't have', he pauses, points at himself flailing his hand, ' _this_ in the way. It's, like, breaking the rules'.

Scott eyes him, surprised. 'It has never stopped you before'.

Stiles groans. 'I just can't! I mean, I'm not even sure if we are fuckbuddies. It was supposed to be a one-night stand! How am I even in this situation?', he asks, exasperated. 'He took me on a walk to the forest when I was stressed about my presentation, we talk besides fucking, he laughs at my lame jokes. It's obvious I'd go and-'.

'Wait, wait. Are you sure you're just fuckbuddies?'.

'No, I told you', says Stiles. He suddenly realizes he still has his coat on and takes it off, biting his lip and thinking. He raises his head abruptly. 'We are not fuckbuddies – we are friends with benefits! That's why he behaves like that'.

Scott and Allison just stare ar him.

'Right, I guess it doesn't change anything'.

'Do you ever meet besides Saturdays?', asks Allison.

'No. Why should we?', he laughs bitterly.

'Maybe you could try asking him about it, or take him on a date', she suggests, watching him.

Stiles fiddles with his shirt, stills, combs his hair with his hand, bites his lip, sighs. 'Yeah'.

Allison and Scott still look at him, worried now. He half-smiles at them and thanks before going back to his room.

He lasts three days just to break down finally. Okay, Derek has never suggested anything more, he doesn't send any messages or calls Stiles even though he has his number, he is older and much more handsome than Stiles, but they do meet every week, talk a lot, even if it always ends up with them fucking.

When did this all become his life?

He remembers Derek's laugh last time and knows he has to try at least.

'Hey, Derek? It's Stiles'.

He keeps his hand flexing and unflexing before forcing himself to stop.

'Oh, hi'. Derek sounds surprised, but not unhappy or reluctant.

'So, uh, you know _Dr. Strange_ movie? I wanted to see it sometime this week, and, well, it's showing tomorrow's evening. Would you like to come as well?', he asks, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He swallows, waiting for the response, feels his hands trembling. Jesus.

Derek doesn't speak for a while.

'I don't think that's a good idea, Stiles', he answers finally.

Stiles feels his muscles loosen, something sick in his stomach. 'Oh. Oh, okay', he says, trying to sound casual. 'It's fine. So, see you, I guess'.

'See you'.

He stares at his phone for a while.

Well, so much for Derek's feelings. They are friends with benefits.

He still goes to party on Saturday, even though he knows Derek will be there. He doesn't have to spend time with him, though, right?

And it would be weird to avoid Derek after this one phone call.

He regrets it, of course. Derek is sitting with a tall, blonde guy called Isaac. He is good-looking. So is Derek. They keep talking in hushed voices, laughing sometimes, and sit really close to each other. Isaac leans into Derek, saying something, and Derek puts a hand on his arm.

Well, that's saying a lot. Derek has never been this tactile with him. They touched only when having sex, kissed only with no other people around.

He drinks his beer pathetically, sitting next to Derek, who still smiled when seeing him, moving to make a place for Stiles, before introducing Isaac, _his friend_.

So that's how Derek's friendship looks like. It's nothing like what they have.

Derek turns to him, they talk for a bit, before Isaac occupies Derek again. He feels shitty for hating the guy. He should hate Derek.

He swallows more beer to fog his mind.

Scott looks up at them, and Stiles feels almost relieved already – Scott will save him from this bitterness.

Scott talks with Isaac, smiles at Stiles and turns back to Allison.

He stares at his drink. Finishes it in one go.

Well, if Scott likes him, Isaac's a good guy. No, it just doesn't work, he is so fucking _jealeus_ of him.

He watches others talking, considers giving up and going to Scott, decides against it, because sitting over there would place Derek and Isaac just in front of him. Touching and speaking quietly.

How did Derek's mind work? Oh, right. They were friends with benefits. It's Stiles' mind that's in the wrong.

Jackson gets up and comes back, placing new beers on the table. He points at one of them. 'This one's yours, Stilinski'.

'Oh, thanks', he answers, taken aback. He didn't ask for more alcohol, but he can use it. A lot of it.

He waits for Jackson to move the beer closer, but gets a raised eyebrow in answer. 'Well, get up and take it yourself, idiot'.

And here it is, the real Jackson. He noticed Stiles' a sad mess, brought him beer and made him change seats. Still behaving like asshole.

He sits next to Lydia, who eyes him, her gaze judging. 'You look terrible'.

'The perks of having my heart broken'.

'Pathetic', she comments, cold as always. 'Tell me better what do you think of musac'.

Oh, right, once you start a discussion with Lydia, it will take most of your night out. Don't Jackson and Lydia make a great pair?

'Horrible, but have its uses'.

'Which are?'.

They discuss the topic, Stiles is mostly relieved from having to watch Derek with Isaac. He owes Lydia and Jackson for tonight, he thinks, slowly but surely getting drunk.

They finish the musac topic and go on to the role of vegetation in the cities.

'They get all this... dust... from the air. They _save_ us. I say, vote trees', states Stiles. He may be... _tipsy_ by now.

'Well, what about when you need to deforest the space to make a place for a hospital, or a school?'.

'Fuck that', Stiles grumbles. 'It's not like we are that awesome. Look at me, I'm human. Am I great? No'.

'Well, that's-', starts Lydia, but Stiles can't hear her, seeing Derek slunging an arm over Isaac and smiling, saying something.

He looks at his beer.

'I'm going home. Thanks, Lydia. I love you. And the trees. And Jackson', he goes out, barely keeping himself straight. Scott goes after him and helps him get home.

Seriously, trees over humans. Trees over him.

 

4\. Requests

It's kind of pathetic, but he doesn't appear on the party next week, or the one after that. Scott says that he can tell Derek to stay off, but Stiles just doesn't feel like going.

He keeps reading Erich Fromm, but the magical powers of his writings don't work anymore.

He remembers how after the first night he managed to get Derek out of his head. He can't do that now. It didn't just happen, it's still happening for Stiles. He can't put it behind himself.

On one of his classes, he learns about nonviolent communication. He practices the theory, imagining talking honestly with Derek.

Yeah, right. No way is he going to do that.

Three Saturdays avoided now, he thinks waking up on Sunday morning.

He gets up, resolving to forget Derek. Whatever it was, it _was_. He's got an essay to write about the influence of criminal psychology on the law.

He sighs, realizing that he needs to go to the library to get all the books for his assignment.

There is a doorbell and he frowns, standing up from before his computer. Scott and Allison left in the morning, saying something about meeting Erica and Boyd.

He opens the door, sees Derek, and closes the door.

He takes a second to freak out. Checks his clothes, he looks normal, tousles his hair before remembering it just worsens whatever it is he has on his head. No, what the hell? Who cares? He stares wide-eyed on the door-handle and slowly opens again.

'Hey', he says lamely. Should he say sorry for closing the door earlier?

'Hi'.

'I'm so-'.

'It's to-'.

They look at each other.

'Go ahead', shrugs Stiles.

'Can I come in?'.

'Yeah'.

They stand in the hallway, observing each other.

'I understand that you're busy, but we haven't seen each other in three weeks', says Derek, stressing the last words and looking at Stiles, demanding an answer.

'And why would you care?', shoots Stiles right back. Just to blush. He feels so moronic.

Derek doesn't say anything for a while, but when he speaks up, it's like he's lost all his confidence.

'What do you mean?'. He sounds weak.

Well, Stiles may as well go and say it, right? What's to lose now? His pride left him that night three weeks ago. Scott said he revealed his love to Jackson, but there are some borders he'd never cross, and this is one of them. But on the off chance he really did say that... well, confessing to Derek won't be a problem. For once, it's true.

He avoids Derek's eyes and bites his lip. 'I fell in love with you', he blurts out. Derek doesn't answer, so fiddling with his shirt's drawstring, he continues: 'So I tried to ask you on a date, you turned me down and then spent the whole night flirting with Isaac'.

He combs his hand through his hair, leaving it even messier. 'If that's cle-'.

'I wasn't flirting with Isaac. He is my friend, he is just really shy, that's why we kept talking'.

'You kept _touching_ '.

Derek looks at him, not understanding. 'We are friends', he repeats.

'Oh, come on, I thought _we_ were friends and we've never been _this_ close', Stiles argues.

'Because you didn't want that! I kissed you once in a pub and it all but paralysed you'.

'Tha-', Stiles starts, indignant. 'I was surprised! I thought we were fuckbuddies!'.

'Why would you think that? I told you I like you!'.

'Well, yeah, and I said I liked you too. So, what? What does it have to do with anything?'.

Derek stares at him, taken aback. 'I was sure we were going out all this time'.

Stiles gawks at Derek. 'But – you have never called me, have you? Or send me a message. We just talked and fucked'.

Derek flinched. 'I didn't want to interrupt you-'.

'You didn't even agree to go out with me for one fucking movie!'.

'Because you said you were busy on Wednesdays'.

Stiles groaned, defeated. How could you be so intelligent, knowledgable, try for PhD in biology and be so _dumb_ at the same time? 'My course was cancelled that day. Look, what do you want from me?'.

Derek pauses, looking somewhere else. 'I-', he starts, then presses his lips in thin line. 'I don't say that stuff'.

'What stuff?', asks Stiles weakly. The whole situation's so unreal. None of this was supposed to happen. Nothing from the start.

'I told you', says Derek again unwillingly, as if talking causes him physical pain. His hands are clenched. 'I like you', he declares, looking somewhere at the wall behind Stiles. 'You're-', he shuts his eyes, open them again. '...intelligent and funny, and so curious. Attractive, cute, and I-', he stops, takes a breath. 'I feel like taking care of you'.

Is Derek blushing?

'I don't need anyone to take care of me', Stiles frowns.

'I know, I just-', a pause, while Derek looks at his foot. 'You work so hard with your studies but still try to meet with friends and-', he stops, turning his head away. 'Besides, I don't...', he starts, flushing, 'bottom. I haven't with anyone earlier'.

The silence grows between them. Derek looks terribly uncomfortable. Stiles can't tear his eyes from him, mesmerized. 'Did you mean what you said?', he asks, suddenly shy.

'I- yeah. Yeah'.

Stiles gazes at him for a moment. He sees a backpack near Derek's legs and frowns. 'Is that yours?', he points.

Derek's blush doesn't go away. 'Scott told me you were writing a thesis about criminal psychology and law, that's why you didn't come yesterday, so I-', he averts his eyes, '...brought you the books you might need'.

Stiles stares at the man.That's just so thoughtful.

'I still didn't return your book'.

Derek's eyes flick up towards his, just to turn downwards again. 'It's okay'.

Stiles lets his feeling rise up in him, remembering the walk in the forest, Derek breathing hard beneath him, his laugh and all the small smiles.

He steps closer and kisses Derek, trying to convey everything.

When he ends, it's to smirk at Derek and say, 'You know, Scott and Allison aren't here'.

'Yeah?'.

Stiles starts walking backwards to his room. He has no idea how he can appear so confident while still questioning everything that happened. Derek is staring at him, though, following as if in a daze.

'Yeah, they went to meet Boyd and Erica'.

Derek stops. 'Oh fuck. Shit. Wait, I need to call them', he says urgently.

'What? Why?'.

'I-', Derek licks his lips and Stiles can't help but track the movement. 'I thought you were bored, or something', he grimaces, 'with me. And told Erica everything'. He looks away. 'She didn't take that well'.

Stiles averts his eyes. 'I could never be bored with you. I kept thinking about you all this time, and, shit, Derek, you're just so-', he stops, searching for the right word, failing and making a weird movement with his both hands around his chest, 'for me'.

Derek smiles softly and comes up to brush their lips. Stiles should have used that nonviolent communication theory. It would have saved so much time between them, and all the angst.

He kisses Derek before remembering about their friends.

'No, wait, better call Erica, she is Lydia's friend, so, you know, intense. And I'd rather have Scott alive'.

'Right. Yeah', answers Derek, eyeing Stiles' blush.

The younger boy looks up to him with a small smile. 'Uh, but it can't be that bad, right? We both have found a friend at least'.

'We have found much more', disagreed Derek.

Stiles watches him call Erica. He knows they both just needed to speak all this time, but Derek isn't that good with words, with constant pauses and looking away, and he was always, well, too shy. But it's okay. If it's with Derek, he can change, overcome his uncertainty and unfold his powers, as Fromm said, he can try anything.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you! Comments really are love and kudos are so motivating :)


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